Did you know that in many studies researchers have found a direct link between feelings of "growth" or "making progress" to "being satisfied" with life?
I don't know about you, but as a life transitions coach, I talk to a lot of people who are not very happy with their lives. If growth and happiness are somehow linked it is worthwhile to understand if we are growing, right?
The following eight items are what I found to be some of the best indicators of growth and seem to have the most significant impact on enjoying life.
#1 You have decided to take care of yourself physically.
Two friends run into a bear on a hike. One gets down on his k
nees to pray; the other bends over to tighten the lacing on his shoes. The one kneeling says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear." To which the other person responds, "I don't have to. I only have to outrun you."
It is popular in our society to leave the leftovers to the body.
We are always trying to "fit in some time for a workout."
We hope to go for a walk this weekend.
When under pressure we tend to skip meals, eat poorly, and "be on the run."
All of these confessions and so many more like them betray the low priority we typically place on the body. If there is a squeeze on time, the body usually takes the hit.
This is a mistake for your overall happiness. Never mind, how much good a 5-minute walk in the woods can do for you. Consider the time and expense of a trip to the doctor's office. You see, our bodies will get our time, either now or later.
The physical must have a prime position while we are on this earth because, without the body, life is not possible.
Please note, that I am not talking about going to excess here. But, our first commitment is to treat our bodies with respect and to keep them healthy.
If you are doing a better job in this area, it is a sign of growth.
#2 You are seeing progress in letting go of the offenses in your life.
I count myself fortunate to have traveled internationally somewhat, and I have hosted hundreds of people on those trips. But, here is something I have never, ever heard an experienced traveler say, "The more I travel the more I pack." It is just the opposite. I like the proverb that says, "Happy is the traveler who travels light."
My wife and I pack so light we'll take "toothbrush trips" where we go out of town with toothbrushes, phone chargers, and that is about it.
I try to maintain the same philosophy for my mental life. That is, I drop all the baggage I can.
In marriage counseling, except in extreme conditions, I suggest couples have a three-month rule. Any offense older than three months (once dealt with) is off the table for discussion.
In extreme conditions, there should be nothing older than three years.
If you find yourself carrying fewer and fewer past and present burdens, that is a sign of growth.
#3. You've stopped seeking support from the wrong people.
One of the saddest interviews I've seen was when Oprah Winfrey interviewed mega-pop star, Michael Jackson. When she asked him about his father, he was candid about their painful relationship. Michael claimed his father called him "ugly," beat him, frightened him, and that he would vomit with nervousness if he thought his father was coming to see him.
All he wanted was to make his father proud of him, but he didn't know how to do it. As he said, he didn't "understand" his father. He was so desperate for his father's love he even recorded a song called "To Make My Father Proud."
It is a sign of growth when we can stop yearning for the approval of people who will likely never give it and instead get validation from people who share our values.
#4 You have a healthy amount of self-love.
To be clear, I am not promoting an over-inflated ego. This is about believing in your potential. I am a firm believer that we can't have a healthy relationship with anything or anyone until we first see value in ourselves.
What's not to love?
By seeing more potential in myself, I recognize the potential in everyone else around me. It's not that I am more special than others. It is that we are all awesomely and wonderfully made.
If you have a healthy view of yourself and love yourself, this is a sign of growth.
#5 You have developed insight into the person you are and have decided to hold yourself accountable for your dreams and goals.
It is rare to see someone who has created a truce between the conflict of personal fears and personal potential. Growing people routinely make an honest assessment of where they are and where they could be.
You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago. ~Alan Watts
I was listening to Gary Vee the other day, and he was talking about how humans tend to build personal prisons that they then feel forced to occupy.
Accountability from others is essential, but ultimately we must learn how to self-monitor. According to Brendon Burchard in High Performance Habits, a person is 2½ times more likely to reach a goal if they audit their progress. Similarly, most studies show that people who weigh themselves regularly tend to lose more weight.
Intelligent people agree that "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Therefore, the only way to do better is to take an honest look at your actual progress and adopt strategies based on that assessment.
Growing people have goals, checkpoints of progress, and contingencies in the case of unmet goals.
#6 You have a blueprint for the future.
The only way to achieve anything is to lose the distraction of attempting to accomplish everything. Specifically, Zig Ziglar says you need to have:
Goals and identified benefits.
An awareness of the obstacles in your way.
An understanding of the skills and knowledge required to achieve the goal.
Identified a tribe of comparable people who want to honestly aid you in your quest (and you in theirs).
Action plans that include timelines.
Having a blueprint is a sign of growth.
#7 You are taking chances.
The idea of 'risk' is so fascinating to me. It is human nature to minimize it, yet without it, nothing moves forward.
Of course, we are not talking about unnecessary risk. We are discussing calculated risks and getting uncomfortable with your comfort zone.
Great achievers recognize this as a truth that leads to a better life.
I am particularly fond of Eleanor Roosevelt's admonition to "Do one thing every day that scares you." In other words, happy people don't play it safe.
Have you increased your level of acceptable risk? Are you starting to take uncomfortable leaps in the direction of your goals?
If you said "yes," this is a sign of growth.
#8 You have decided to enjoy your life and are on the journey to find the things that lead you there.
We all need a little fun in our lives, but living for excitement doesn't necessarily create a life without regret. On the contrary, it is often just the opposite.
However, for each person, there is a unique path to true happiness. How can we know we are there? Research gives us a clue:
We have an unusual investment of attention into the activity.
We enjoy what we are doing.
We smile.
Time flies.
We look back and wish to repeat the experience.
It can be nothing more than an evening with friends. It could be a spiritual experience or working on a project.
Regardless of the activity, we find ourselves in what some scientists have begun to call "flow."
Growing people have decided to live their lives with no regrets.
There you have it. Eight signs you are growing. How many are you displaying?
Have a good day, all day.
Stuart
Comentarios