I grew up with two older brothers in my bedroom. When the final brother moved out of the bedroom and into the den, I was elated. Not because I didn't like my brother. I was glad we both (but especially me) had our own rooms!
I decorated a wall with a Farah Fawcett poster, hung Star Wars models from the ceiling, spread out my science equipment, and even brought my Honda Trail 70 minibike inside to make repairs! None of that would have been possible with my brother in the room (except for the poster).
The only way you will create enough space for something new and exciting in your life is for something else to leave.
Here is why: Your dance card is already full. You are already telling people how busy you are. To say "Yes" to your dreams means getting a lot of practice compassionately and firmly saying "No" to something else.
When I share this with folks during a life coaching session, they often begin to feel guilty. How can they quit? They feel obligated. There is no one else to do it.
Here is a different way of looking at it. Once you say "Yes," you are occupying the position and therefore, prohibiting someone else from doing it. In other words, as long as you keep saying "Yes" out of guilt, that cuts out a person who would approach the assignment with genuine passion.
As Warren Buffet famously said to his share holders, "The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."
Here is a rule of thumb:
Say "Yes" to something new that will stretch you.
Say "Yes" to do your part to help others.
Say "Yes" when the task and escape clause are both well defined.
Say "Yes" when you can vertically or laterally move closer to your goal.
Say "No" to almost all other requests.
How do you say, "No"? It's easy. Repeat after me:
"No, thank you."
"That's not something I can commit to doing."
"I don't enough interest in that, so no, thank you."
"I have some other things in my life that I am working on right now, so no, thank you."
"That sounds like a truly worthy cause, and thank you for considering me, but I am declining your invitation."
Avoid phrases that soften the blow like "at this time" or "but check back with me later." Those kinds of wishy-washy statements come back to haunt you. Do the person asking you and yourself a favor and give an honest "No."
What is your biggest free-time occupier?
Who is the person who overbooks you?
Is it you are someone else?
What are you willing to stop?
What could you delegate?
Time is precious. It's all you really have. Don't waste with it busy-work. Please make the most of it!
Have a good day, all day.
Stuart
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